Jana Duggar: I Was Too ‘Picky’ to Marry Stephen the First Time!

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Being “a bit picky” in the past before reconsidering and marrying a guy is an unusual claim.

Is Jana Duggar calling her past self fickle?

Or is she saying that she lowered her standards enough to wed Stephen WIssmann?

It almost sounds like she’s saying both. Take a look:

‘I was a bit picky back in the day’

On Monday, February 16, Jana shared a V-Day photo with her husband. But the snap dates back to well before their wedding.

“Throwback to Valentine’s Day five years ago,” she wrote in the Instagram caption.

“Such a sweet memory!” Jana gushed, adding a heart-eyes emoji.

“Stephen and I dated a bit that year,” she recalled, “and he even helped out with remodeling my family’s playroom.”

Jana concluded by writing that it was “Such a special time to look back on!”

Naturally, Jana’s post received a flurry of comments.

In the Duggar world, dating is a foreign concept — as are breakups and reconciliations. (But then, so is marrying in your thirties)

“Do you ever wish you would have stayed together then?” asked one commenter.

“Looking back now… Yes!” Jana replied.

Her response continued: “I totally wish we would’ve gotten married years earlier! But was a bit picky back in the day.”

‘I was rather picky on what I was looking for in a husband back then’

“Her dad made them break up so that she could take care of her brother’s children, so sad,” accused a different commenter.

“Wow! The things people come up with,” Jana replied, laughing it off with an emoji.

“That is so not true,” she clarified.

Jana reiterated her earlier comment: “Actually, I was rather picky on what I was looking for in a husband back then.”

Just for the record, there is no shortage of awful things about Jim-Bob Duggar. He’s an awful person. We don’t need to speculate about possible bad things that he may have done.

In 2011, Jana and Stephen met for the first time — sort of. Their families had met and they even got snowed in together (in Arkansas!), but they didn’t connect during this time.

However, from around 2020 through 2022, Jana and Stephen dated. We have to note that, in 2022, Jeremiah Duggar married Hannah Wissmann.

In early 2024, Jana and Stephen reconnected. This is apparently where she got over her alleged “pickiness.”

The two got engaged in secret in June of that year. In August, as we reported (in advance — the clues were all there), they secretly married.

Within less than a year, she was pregnant. In December 2025, they welcomed their first child, Archie Gerald.

Is she really insulting her husband?

Normally, if you say that you were formerly “picky” but later reconsidered, you’re saying that you lowered your standards.

However, it seems unlikely that Jana is intending to insult her husband. Especially given the toxic and sexist culture in which she was raised.

Instead, it seems more probable that Jana’s intention is to disparage herself.

She’s saying that she was previously “picky” and that she got over herself, essentially, to marry Stephen.

You know, Jinger recently discussed the harm that purity culture does to courtship — even from the perspective of a conservative Christian. She and Jeremy listed how unrealistic expectations (from people with no actual relationship experience) can get in the way.

It’s possible that Jana is alluding to a similar concept. Either way, presumably she and Stephen are happy these days.